So it’s been a while since I posted something on here but this has become a constant refrain between me and my best buddy. The Squirrel to my Moose to reference Supernatural.
Why don’t the men of the 21st century seem to have a clue about how to be gentlemen? We’re not just talking manners. Her and I are blessed to live in the South where ma’am is heard on the daily and doors are opened. We’re talking the deeper meaning of gentleman. A man that is manly enough to protect and take initiative and lead. Who is also capable of compassion and kindness and making you feel loved. Like it’s not that hard. I mean she doesn’t expect her guy to look just like Steve Rogers… Just to act like him. And I’m not looking for all the hunkiness of Bucky Barnes. Just someone with that 40s charm who cam take the lead rather than leaving a girl lost in limbo.
Because there’s been two types me and my Squirrel have encountered. The sleep around jerks who think that being manly is a matter of how many women they’ve had sex with. Guys who don’t actually respect women at all much less themselves. Sure they drive pickups and say ma’am but John Wayne would probably spit in their eye if he was alive. And then you’ve got the metro male. Like he’s all hip with his Starbucks and skinny jeans and progressive ideas. Ideas that mean it’s the girls job to do everything now. The asking out the leading of the relationship. And largely they’re in it just for the sex just like their more redneck counterparts but for all their culture Cary Grant would probably vomit a little if he had to shake hands with one.
There is a third group. A severe minority in the modern world. The guy who understands God’s plan for sex. So he’s not out trying to seduce or get seduced. This thin line in the pie chart of Christian males is the pool myself, my friend, and other girls like us have to choose from. And while we’re not asking for perfect. It’s a common refrain all through college of why don’t the good guys ask us out? Even my favorite campus minister, a dude, was baffled by why so many of the young dudes in college ministry couldn’t seen to ask girls out and were kinda meek about dating. Now I’m not saying it’s their job to like me. But like someone. I mean one of my best friends is practically an actual Disney princess and she had the same feelings at times. We’d get dinner together and talk about how weird it was that no one seemed interested in dating. There were guys already in relationships and guys who seemed to not care about them. It was not what I expected romance to be like. I was expecting cute 50s movie guy meets girl, they flirt, small impediments are overcome and happy ending. Modern romance is strange.
A side note here. I believe the movement in the Christian culture that said you can’t date someone unless you know you want to marry them already put WAY too much pressure on everyone. There’s nothing wrong with grabbing coffee or movies and dinner together or heaven forbid a picnic! How else are you supposed to get to know each other? And if you can’t call that dating for fear of the angry Joshua Harris showing up on your doorstep and pronouncing you a shameless heathen then girls are left in the dark wondering. Does he like me? Or are we just friends who hang out a lot?
Okay back to the boys. We need a rennaisamce of good ole fashioned Rifleman masculinity. I’m not talking lip service about chivalry while the guy still hides behind his mother’s skirts and forgets that the umbilical cord was supposed to be cut 20 or so years before. Words don’t mean anything. I’m talking that kind of man who will be there for anyone in need with an open heart and actions to back it up but also be there to land a punch on some back alley jerk harassing someone (yes I’m thinking of Bucky again) Someone who lives boldly and with confidence. A David. David was not fretting over if he might offend the neighbors. He did as the Lord commanded and kicked major butt. But he also wrote poetry. He also killed a dude and stole his wife so I’m not saying you won’t make mistakes. 😂 And guys I know it’s hard. The world of women is full of raging feminists and baracudas out for sex just like the world of men is for us girls. Just don’t let society tell you how to date. Whether that’s the progressive 21st century culture saying sex for everyone or the Christian culture saying you can’t ask a girl out until you’re certain you’re gonna marry her. Just do what’s right in God’s sight and the details don’t matter. And God never said you have to date like this is the 5th century B.C. still. If it is… where the heck is my camel? 😂