Damsel Deception

Time to talk about my favorite topic and the one that gives me the most headaches too… l’amour!

I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching as a twentysomething who’s went over 3 years without being taken out and over 5 without a kiss or having my hand held.  I’ve told myself that it’s just not my time yet, and maybe it still isn’t, but I’m questioning my behaviour and expectations where men are concerned.  Because every guy I’ve asked for advice on the topic of breaking free of the perennial friendzone with any and all guys I’ve ever fancied have advised me to do things that I found shocking, like my brain couldn’t even handle it.

No, it’s nothing too scandalous! Just they suggested I take his hand or ask him to coffee or in some way or other make my interest known and take the first step out of the friend bubble where I’ve comfortably, though not always happily, lived for over twenty years.  These notions of me holding his hand (I still can’t mentally handle that one) or asking him to coffee (might as well just ask him to marry me! it’s so not my place) are pretty revolutionary.  I’m not joking when I say that the idea of taking the boy I like’s hand is just incomprehensible for me, to be Basic, I literally can’t even.

But is it fair? Are the expectations I’ve had since I first entered the sphere of dating and crushing (so basically puberty and before) all wrong? I mean, I always thought it was the guy’s job to express interest, initiate the dating, do the asking on dates, etc.  And my job, as a female, was to be the responder to these advance, I was to smile and pay him particular attention in conversation and he was supposed to know that meant I liked him enough for us to date, then asking me out, then if it lasts a proposal and sailing off into the sunset for happily ever after…

But I don’t know anymore, maybe that’s been a bit unfair, putting all the risk on the poor boys’ shoulders while I sit here in the middle of the forest waiting for my Prince Phillip, Robin Hood, Westley, Flynn Rider, (insert male romantic lead who meets his true love in a woodland or remotely rustic setting’s name here).

I mean I don’t know, I don’t speak guy, but all the guys I know are like go and do something, don’t just sit pining and giving yourself a headache.  But do guys really like a girl who’s putting herself forward like that? I thought pursuing was their middle name and their main job description or has that just been a lie handed to me all my life by fairy-tales and church matrons?


Why I don’t talk POTUS candidates

As the gap between us and the next presidential elections comes closer to only a year the talk is heating up.  Who are you voting for? What do you think about Trump? I’m moving to Canada if (insert candidate’s name here) becomes president.  I hear these questions and statements every Tuesday when I am hanging out with my college ministry friends.  I try not to get involved, because on some of the candidates and issues I know I’m not informed enough, and on others I’m informed but find it difficult to express my views when I’m being interrupted and contradicted before being capable of finishing the train of thought, through no fault of my friends, I just am a little scatterbrained and long-winded.

So here is my views, once and for all, and if anyone asks me, I shall refer them to this post.

I hate labels, so I won’t say I’m Republican, the Republican party has many flaws, and I’m certainly not a Democrat.  If I had to title myself in modern terms I’d be a Conservative Libertarian I suppose, but really I’m truly, at heart, a 19th century Liberal.  Liberal before people not based in reality co opted the title to fit their ideas of arbitrary social law.  The Liberal of the 19th century, is the Libertarian of today.  And because philosophically I agree with the 19th century more than any other era in time I see myself as a 19th century Liberal in many aspects.

So the odious task of labeling out of the way, this is my views on the presidential candidates and the discussion surrounding them.

One, it’s too soon.  All talk at this point is rhetoric, the ball is still in play, and we don’t know who’s going to be representing each party clearly yet, so why talk in circles and create sound and fury signifying nothing.  I agree with what some of what some candidates say, but can’t bring myself to commit to one, because, as I stated, it’s hardly relevant at this point, and in general the election is irrelevant.

le gasp!

Yes I said it, the Presidential election is irrelevant.  Until a candidate comes forth who intends to revamp our financial system, give us a currency backed by something tangible, rein in the Supreme Court (and all the other courts who think that judges have the right to dictate the nation’s laws unsupervised) bring balance to the nation’s foreign policy so we cease to be wiping every other country’s runny nose while simultaneously picking its pocket.  Until someone goes after large multinational corporations and restricts their overweening power, restores state’s rights instead of continuing to reduce them, I’m not going to get too excited about anyone.  I like Ted Cruz, because the guy was cool enough to filibuster Obamacare for 21 hours straight and he gets some extra points because he hails from the great state of Texas.  Do I agree with everything he says? No.  Do I think he has a legitimate chance at being the Republican nominee? No.  Same goes for Rand Paul.  That’s why I’m not going to die-hard defend them, I like them, I think he’d make a good president even, but for anyone to make a really good candidate by my standards they’d have to be essentially painting a giant target on themselves.  Because face it, every great president this country has had for the most part has been shot, frequently in a fatal fashion.  The people with the purse strings don’t like their boat being rocked.  It was the same in Jesus’ day, and no president has ever come near Him.  Corporations and financiers run under the same model as the Pharisees and priest of Christ’s day “better that one man should die than the nation be lost”.  So this is why I don’t get involved, what will happen will happen.  I’ll probably vote, but like every election it’s the ‘lesser of two evils’, which, fyi, is still evil.