Time to talk

I love having friends over, I really do.  And I love talking life.  I appreciate that the theme of my generation (amongst my friends at least) is getting to know each other and bearing each other’s burdens.  But sometimes, maybe because I’m accustomed to something more, I really wish I could just sit down with someone and discuss the background of Shakespeare’s works.  Or the underlying theme of a work we’ve read.  Or discuss how the flow of history has affected events both past and present.  Some people who want to talk about the Bible as a book not just as the Almighty’s love letter, but it’s flow and it’s themes and the intellectual side.  I’m not saying my friends aren’t smart, they’re brilliant, many much smarter than I am.  But the emphasis on sitting and talking about things in a deep manner is gone.  We have our movies and shows and we talk about them rather than talking about books and nature.  The days of enlightenment salons and romantic parlors are gone.  And while I love watching a good show with my friends, I wish I could just ask them over for poetry reading instead, but I doubt anyone would come.  We don’t have the time to talk, or to think hardly.  So when we do find downtime we want to turn off our brains and watch some fascinating show that is visual not intellectual, and while they make us think perhaps.  How often do we discuss the deeper meaning afterwords? Or do we just gush about the quality of the film (or, my guilty point, the eye-candy).

I don’t know what it takes, or if it will ever happen again, but a movement of rediscovering quality talk, not just about ourselves, but about things bigger than us, and how we think and feel about them, would be so refreshing.  Could we do it?  Would people come to read books together and discuss lofty thoughts I wonder?  Or is this all the delusional dreaming of a hopeless romantic who’d like nothing more than to live in a forest dancing and writing novels and reading poetry while surviving like Keat’s gypsy Meg.

Is it Society or our Celebrities?

I sit back and I see all the images and trending news and I wonder, is society to blame or are our celebrities?  Because when did running around half-naked become the norm?  And is it society or the competition to stay relevant in the land of movie screens and record deals that’s to blame for women becoming objects who bare their skin just to get attention.  Did the glamour of hollywood and the competition to be relevant in that world make dresses run up to a girls buns and cover nothing more than what is necessary to be covered for tv viewing.

An actress has a “wardrobe malfunction” and it’s front page news, never mind the fact that 90% of her publicity photos she’s halfway nude.  Things are so skewed and strange.  I honestly don’t understand.  On the one hand we make huge deals over what brand of heels a female star wears on the carpet but we’re content to sit back and relax as some guy just plays his guitar, not caring whether his plaid or suit came from Sax 5th Avenue or the local outlet mall.

I’m not saying men are to blame for women being viewed as objects, they’re the last to be blamed.  Ladies, we did this to ourselves, and whether society is to blame and celebrities just took their cue from it or whether they started the trend the blame for us being objects is on ourselves.  You can’t expect to run around showing off everything you got and then cry foul when the guys don’t take you seriously.  Heck, it’s not just them, your own female peers aren’t going to take you seriously.  We may smile and be polite but in our heads we’re thinking man-trap and tramp and every other dirty name.  Guys notice because we show it.  It’s not them objectifying us, it’s us going after guys who aren’t worth it in the first place.  Because if you gotta dress like a hooker to hook him he ain’t worth your time sweetie.  So do yourself a favor and dress like a lady and maybe you’ll find a real man.  And even if you don’t you’ll have your self respect back and be able to feel at home in your own skin, not like you gotta dress a certain way to attract a male’s attention.  Dress classy and you will feel better about you and the world might just take you a little more seriously.

Don’t let the cover of Vogue tell you what to believe about yourself or the painful words of your ex or the boy in 3rd grade who said you were too tall.  Or your high school flame who pressured you into giving your all.  Ignore the haters and fix your eyes on what is good and pure and what has a good rep.  Find the iconic clothes that are the most timeless, you’ll find they’re all pretty conservative where the length and cleavage are concerned.  Your classic little black dress and your jeans with a cute top will never go out of style and you don’t have to show it all to be pretty in fact when you dress for you and to be comfortable is when you’ll feel the most at home.

So while I still wonder whether the media or our own moral decline is to blame for see-through dresses and shorts that run up to our behind, it doesn’t really matter.  It’s up to us to dress in a way that proves we have minds and souls and aren’t just objects to be toyed with.  Blaming other things is an easy way out, but how we dress effects how others view us, and how we dress is our responsibility.  So stay classy ladies.

Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing

So often in today’s society you read news articles covering people’s outrage over something unworthy of anyone’s fury. From the outcry that the Rebel Flag be removed from everywhere forever to the recent freakout over the tacky frat boys’ signs about freshman girls. I mean they were in poor taste yes, but promoting rape culture?  Not so much.
If anyone gets the least bit offended by something an outpouring occurs demanding people be reprimanded, establishments be razed to the ground and all traces be obliterated into dust.
Except… Except if you hold a traditional or conservative view of things. Then you better keep your mouth shut if you think children’s shows that have homosexuals are not just the best thing ever or that girls should try and wear more clothing out in public or that immoral behaviour in tv shows is offensive. Then it’s off with your head. If you point out that maybe it’s because of our society’s decline that we have people shooting others for little or no reason or that it’s because we’ve robbed men of their rights as men and then vilified them that we have them being openly rude and unruly towards women. Whoa!  You can’t say stuff like that. You’re so backwards!
There is so much to be outraged about like the starving and war and the uneducated not flags and frat boy’s.

The Measure of All Things

It is difficult, going through life, trying to measure your looks against that slightly more attractive person standing two people up from you in line.  Or measure your goodness against that person who spends their weekends doing charity while you float the river with your friends.

As humans we measure ourselves constantly against others and how we think others perceive us.  We feel inadequate because we’re not as good as our friends.  Or worse, as good as the strangers we pass on the street.

But the real news is this, you don’t have to measure up.  You’re fearfully and wonderfully made and God gave you all those quirks and passions you have.  The glorious news is that the only person you have to answer to for how you look and behave is God.  No one else has any authority over you.  Not unless you let them.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Wibbly-Wobbly Personality

People tend to think that personality is a strict progression of introvert to extrovert but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective, point of view, it’s more like a big ball of peopley-weepily humany-womaney stuff.

Okay, my Whovian is showing.  But it’s true.  I’m typically labeled an extrovert, I talk a lot, love talking and getting to know people, don’t mind being the center of attention.  But on the other hand I love having enough alone time to write stories and read books and just sit out under a tree somewhere.  And I hate being the first one to talk and don’t know how to take compliments, and can feel awkward in a crowd.   It’s a mix, I think everyone is.  I know I am.  It varies on mood, on what I’m doing, on who I’m with.  I’m content sitting by myself in my house doing nothing but killing time on the computer or journaling, but I love having people over and would be happy to have people in my house all the time.  But on the other hand my biggest bouts with depression and the times I’ve collapsed in tears in my bathtub have been times after I’ve hung out with people.  Usually crowds.  I feel so inadequate after being with people.  I feel insignificant.  Feel that people don’t care and only want to be around me because they pity me or because they know I’m always down to hang out.  Because I’m the amusing overgrown clumsy and awkward puppy of the friend group.

It’s difficult, especially when you’re so used to being social butterfly extrovert that you’re not sure if anyone is ready for your introverted side that wants to talk deep things.  So you just stuff it away, put on the perky face, throw enough sass out there to ward anyone from getting within an hundred leagues of the introvert side that just confuses people and you stay super bouncy all the time and no one takes you seriously and you get used to it.  But you always kinda wish someone would take the time to sit down with you and get to know you properly.  But they don’t, because you’re the weird ambivert who only shows the extrovert side and isn’t even sure if they know how to relate on a deep level with anyone but the absolute closest of people, we’re talking parents and maybe one other person kind of close.

As an extremely extroverted ambivert you end up saying everything while simultaneously saying nothing.  Talking air is a talent, and a curse.  You want to sit and read poetry and discuss it’s meaning but you also want to get up and dance the night away.

I’m not even sure I know how to talk deep with anyone but my dad and maybe my best gal friend.  I used to have a guy friend I thought I was close with, but it would seem the world has turned and they’ve moved on.  And I don’t feel hurt or betrayed, that’s one of the things of being both, you have the extroversion to make moving on easy, always new people, and the insight to see that what they did was not meant as anything against you and was just life, and how things go.  Perspective and perkiness, one of the perks to being on the fence with your personality type.

So for all you out there who think you have a friend who’s all introvert or all extrovert, think again.  Go get to know them, sit and talk with them, ask them about their books, and hang around long enough for them to show the other side.  To let down the guard and stop acting up their stronghand (whichever personality side tends to dominate) and let you get to know the side they don’t show.  Do that.  Do the people you think you’ve got pegged personality-wise a favor and get to know all of them.

Wibbly-Wobbly Personality

People tend to think that personality is a strict progression of introvert to extrovert but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective, point of view, it’s more like a big ball of peopley-weepily humany-womaney stuff.

Okay, my Whovian is showing.  But it’s true.  I’m typically labeled an extrovert, I talk a lot, love talking and getting to know people, don’t mind being the center of attention.  But on the other hand I love having enough alone time to write stories and read books and just sit out under a tree somewhere.  And I hate being the first one to talk and don’t know how to take compliments, and can feel awkward in a crowd.   It’s a mix, I think everyone is.  I know I am.  It varies on mood, on what I’m doing, on who I’m with.  I’m content sitting by myself in my house doing nothing but killing time on the computer or journaling, but I love having people over and would be happy to have people in my house all the time.  But on the other hand my biggest bouts with depression and the times I’ve collapsed in tears in my bathtub have been times after I’ve hung out with people.  Usually crowds.  I feel so inadequate after being with people.  I feel insignificant.  Feel that people don’t care and only want to be around me because they pity me or because they know I’m always down to hang out.  Because I’m the amusing overgrown clumsy and awkward puppy of the friend group.

It’s difficult, especially when you’re so used to being social butterfly extrovert that you’re not sure if anyone is ready for your introverted side that wants to talk deep things.  So you just stuff it away, put on the perky face, throw enough sass out there to ward anyone from getting within an hundred leagues of the introvert side that just confuses people and you stay super bouncy all the time and no one takes you seriously and you get used to it.  But you always kinda wish someone would take the time to sit down with you and get to know you properly.  But they don’t, because you’re the weird ambivert who only shows the extrovert side and isn’t even sure if they know how to relate on a deep level with anyone but the absolute closest of people, we’re talking parents and maybe one other person kind of close.

As an extremely extroverted ambivert you end up saying everything while simultaneously saying nothing.  Talking air is a talent, and a curse.  You want to sit and read poetry and discuss it’s meaning but you also want to get up and dance the night away.

I’m not even sure I know how to talk deep with anyone but my dad and maybe my best gal friend.  I used to have a guy friend I thought I was close with, but it would seem the world has turned and they’ve moved on.  And I don’t feel hurt or betrayed, that’s one of the things of being both, you have the extroversion to make moving on easy, always new people, and the insight to see that what they did was not meant as anything against you and was just life, and how things go.  Perspective and perkiness, one of the perks to being on the fence with your personality type.

So for all you out there who think you have a friend who’s all introvert or all extrovert, think again.  Go get to know them, sit and talk with them, ask them about their books, and hang around long enough for them to show the other side.  To let down the guard and stop acting up their stronghand (whichever personality side tends to dominate) and let you get to know the side they don’t show.  Do that.  Do the people you think you’ve got pegged personality-wise a favor and get to know all of them.

To believe

It is strange how strongly the human heart fights against belief.  Against accepting the fact that come what may our Father is in charge and nothing happens that is not His will.  Even if we don’t like it, or don’t understand it, he knows what is going on every second of our lives, even when we sleep.  He knows our dreams and He knows every step we take.  He keeps track of every hair on our head.

So when we face trials we should be able to rest in the peace that God’s got this.  Even if we’re just lost and confused and want answers now, and we get angry when things don’t go the way we planned, we can always come back around to the fact that He has a plan.  even if we are scared of what could be the future.

He is in charge in all things.  So before we step into that interview, or have that talk with someone in our life, we know that God has it in His hands and we’ll always be taken care of.  Even if it ends bad, or we fail to get what we went out for, we can be at peace knowing that God has better plans in store for us.  Just maybe not right now.